Random update

Last week I received an email from Dawn's son Andy. You might remember this post regarding Dawn and her final days of Cancer. http://twogirlsformama.blogspot.com/2009/01/sad-message.html Sadly, she lived only 8 days after her 1/16/09 message. She believed she'd live a month. The memorial will be in Seattle, WA so I won't be going. Andy mentioned in his announcement of his mothers passing that it had been 8 years from the beginning diagnosis to her passing. Thankfully he and his brother were able to spend quality time with their mother in the years knowing about her disease of breast cancer.


On a lighter note, I'm starting a new adventure. I've signed up to work with and for one of my oldest friends, Aaron. He and I have been friends for 25 years. I met him the summer before my high school freshman year. My friend Jenny introduced us while she and I were laying out in Santa Cruz (beach) that summer. He spotted Jenny in the midst of hundreds of bodies. He is the class of 1984 Jenny is the class of 1985 and I'm the class of 1986. As it turns out he's been one of my favorite friends of all time. We lost touch for long periods of time starting in the mid 90's because he moved out of state, but as a larger surprise he came to my 40th surprise party thanks to my childhood friend Jeannie who found him on Classmates, so we've continued to stay in touch. He's been back in our old stomping grounds with his wife and 2 children for about a decade.


He works for a company I plan to go part-time with to earn extra money. I'm excited and apprehensive all at the same time. I'll have to take training classes and tests for licenses. The licenses are for life insurance, mortgages, IRA's, etc. I'll be doing all of this at night after my day job. Todd is more than on board. In his words to Aaron, "I want her to do it." It's a step to learning something new while still having my day job to fall back on.


Today I taught Paula how to do laundry. She learned how to sort the clothes into appropriate color piles. She got to fill and pour the detergent and softener. I am the only one allowed to do bleach in the whites. She transferred the laundry as well. She LOVED IT. She said "some jobs are fun.". lol I got the idea from another board in the comments section where a mom said that for her 4 children, she taught them all at age 5 how to do their own laundry. Heck, why not?!


I also bagged up 3 bundles of clothes from Shawna's closet. I pulled out some Gymboree dresses that I'll sell on eBay. Her closet is so much more manageable now. The girls only wore 10% of what she had. Most of it hand-me-downs from Paula.

I'll leave you with a couple photos. Below is one of our sites (we had two that weekend) at Lake Chabot in Hayward, CA. It's very woodsy and pretty. It's also very close to home so we plan on going back often.

Shawna's kindergarten class had a sight words sing-song where each child was assigned one or two letters. When a word was chosen with that letter the kids formed the word and did a little song for it. Shawna was fine when she was in the back of the kids, but in front for her song she pretty much just mouthed the words. Stage fright you might say. Also, you might notice that her right arm has her sleeve way past the hand. She pulled and sucked on that damn sleeve the entire time. It drove Todd and I crazy.

Sad message

When I was in my early 20's I babysat for 2 boys in Los Altos, Patrick age 9 & Andy 13 at the time. Their mother Dawn and stepfather Jim were very kind. They'd both been married previously and met after their divorce. They were such a perfect couple. Dawn had mentioned to me how her first husband (the boys father) was very immature.

In my late 20's they asked me to house sit for free for 2 years. Jim was being transferred to Singapore to start up a manufacturing plant. They were taking Patrick with them, but leaving their dachshund, Toby, and 18 year old son Andy who was starting UC Santa Cruz that August. Of course I agreed! Toby was such a sweetheart. I just adored him. Andy was pleasant but came home way too much from college and I really didn't want to live with an 18 year old. His friends and girlfriends would frequent with him, smoking pot, getting high on mushrooms, and after a year I'd had it.

In addition, 6 months into the house sitting Todd moved in with me. We got engaged in June of 1998. 6 months later Jim's job was complete and they came home so Todd and I moved into an apartment together. I had house sat for 1 full year.

Todd and I were able to save so much money. My 401K soared, we bought a boat, purchased an engagement ring. Jim and Dawn were so happy for us. Both of them had visited home on different occasions during that year and of course stayed in their house with me. They really liked Todd. Sadly, they couldn't make it to our wedding but they did keep touch.

Several years ago Dawn was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. She got fought it and beat it. The stress on Jim caring for Dawn activated a dormant skin cancer cell he'd had in his back from years earlier. Unfortunately Jim did not survive that battle with melanoma. Todd and I went to his service and got to see Patrick and Andy, who were much more grown up now. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that this perfect couple was now apart. I was also baffled by how Dawn survived and Jim didn't.

Before his death, Jim had designed a double urn for he and Dawn. It was a beautiful urn and at the memorial the man who created told his story of how Jim had approached him. Until that day I'd never heard of a double urn but knew it was the perfect place for he and Dawn to rest in peace together when the time came.

After the death of Jim, Dawn choose to move to Seattle to be near some family members. She's been gone for a few years now. Sadly, just today she sent out an email that she is dying. Her breast cancer has metastasized into pancreas and liver. Below is her message. I'm just so sad for her and her two sons. So sad.


Dear friends and family,
According to my doctor, who I visited yesterday,my breast cancer has moved into my pancreas and my liver. At this point, Dr Gadi recommended and we have implemented, Hospice care. He believes that if all goes well, I should have a month or so left here on our beautiful earth. We don't have a gauge on what will happen exactly in the coming month or so, but I wanted to take a moment to tell you all how much you mean to me.

Each one of you in your own way has made such a big difference in my life, and it would be impossible to convey, in email or otherwise, how important your love, affection and support has been to me and my family. Some of you have been with me since childhood and we have many, many good memories. Others of you have come into my life more recently and have been just as amazing in sharing your wisdom, knowledge and friendship.

I've learned as much as the next person during life. Sometimes more in one area, sometimes less. One lesson that truly stands out is not to judge others and to really work at seeing the jewel we all have tucked within us. Abstaining from judgment, compassion and forgiveness . If any of us can master those three we have truly begun to bring mastery into our soul life.

I know that most of you live far away from Seattle, but I wanted to let you know that you are more than welcome to visit me. This of course will be more difficult as things progress.

Thank you, all, for every kindness.

Love, Dawn

PS: I may not be very quick to answer any incoming emails as I tend be exhausted very often. However, I will do my best.

The below photo is Jim and Dawn in 2002 at Pt. Reyes. She's wearing a wig here so I know this was during her chemo period. Also, after Jim died instead of flowers, I had a star named after him. Dawn was so thrilled. She said it was the perfect memorial gift for him. She liked looking up at "his" star.