Yesterday I left a comment for a post on thespohrsaremultiplying in regards to expectations we have with our children, based on our own childhood. Her post resonated with me because I too had certain expectations and dreams of what my life married with children would be like, and subsequently what my children's lives would be like based on that dream. Life has turned out differently, but in a good way. I want to share my comment here.
I had your same vision once, but am living a different reality. My reality is better than I thought it would be given some of the choices we made.
I grew up in N. Calif in the Beaver Cleaver family. My dad worked, my mom was a SAHM, my brother is 4 years younger than me. We lived down the street from my elementary school, walking distance to all schools, including the Jr. High and High School. I played with my friends in the neighborhood and participated in sports at all the schools I went to.
Both sets of my grandparents lived 3 hours away my whole life.
My husband and I both have to work. Our first house was small but on a nice size lot in a cul-de-sac. We loved our neighbors and hung out with them all the time. After both my girls were born (ages 1.5 and 3.5 at the time) I HAD to move. The place shrunk. I could not live through a remodel. I knew it. My husband knew it. We found a HUGE house in a ~so-so~ neighborhood for a killer price. The house was going into foreclosure. It needed work but we were up to the challenge. My husband is very handy. I’m a bit of a neighborhood snob and this is not my dream neighborhood. It’s eclectic, many really nice houses and many dog houses too thanks to inheritance of some homes and rentals. My kids do not attend the local public school, like I always thought they would, because I had too many fears about the education they’d receive there. It’s rated a 6 out of 10 year after year. The principal lives across the street from me.
My kids do not play with the neighborhood kids. They don’t even know more than 2. We live on top of a hill so they can’t ride bikes, or scooters in the neighborhood either, like I did as a child. They do ride in our long driveway and backyard sometimes.
We choose to attend a Catholic school starting in preschool (lowest tuition prices for private schools) where we have made strong relationships with the families there. It’s a great community of people and the teachers LOVE the kids. My kids LOVE the teachers. My kids, ages 8 and 10 now, participate in the parish (Oakland Diocese CYO) sports program doing volleyball, basketball, track & field and soccer through the city rec. I can’t say more good things about the school community.
We drive the girls to the local school to ride their bikes and roller blade and scooter. They have a very close relationship to my parents who moved 3 hours away before they were born. (ironically)
My kids don’t live the life I lived, but their life is really good. REALLY good.
Sometimes different works out.
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