Parenting

Yesterday Oprah did a show on the realities of motherhood. The good, the bad and the ugly. What I took away from the show is the fact that I’m allowed to have these feeling of inadequacies. More importantly I plan to blog about them. Lucky you!

The truth is I’m not the mother I thought I’d be. I always wanted children. I’ve always loved and adored babies. Getting pregnant was the happiest day of my life. Having a tiny baby was the next happiest day of my life. In the early years I had to fight my husband to spend the most time with my girls. I was the only one who could give my girls their bath. I needed to spend that time alone with them. I wanted to read my daughter her bedtime story. I loved the baby and toddler stage. Once they hit 4, something happened. I no longer HAD to be the parent who gave them their bath, or read them their bedtime story. I also began dreading the “Mommy, play with me” requests when all I really wanted to do was veg on the couch reading a book, magazine or some silly TV show. Don’t get me wrong, I love my girls. If they’re ill, I’m the one who WANTS to care for them. When I’m relaxing on the couch or bed and they want to come snuggle on me, I’m all over it. I’m just not that mom who enjoys playing with my kids. I love watching them play. I love watching my kids do most anything. But I’m not interested in being in the thick of it so to speak. That came as a surprise. Sort of.

Looking back at my babysitting years I preferred kids under the age of 4 the most. I took care of a 2 year old boy named Alex for one year during 8th grade. After school I’d go to his house where his mom worked swing and his dad days, so there was 2.5 hours Little Alex needed daycare. I’d play baseball w/him in the backyard. I enjoyed taking him to the park. I had fun with him. Once kids got to the age where they wanted to play board games, Go Fish, things like that, I lost interest. I don’t want to play those games. I want to dictate what and how we play. When kids hit 4 they want to dictate. Not only that they talk…a lot! I don’t enjoy coordinating crafts, I don’t enjoy being in a room full of energetic youngsters. Does that make me a bad mom? In some people’s eyes I’m sure it does.

Another interesting thing I’ve learned about me is I enjoy teenagers. I can relate to teenagers. Of course I’ve only experienced other people’s teenagers so I might have a completely different outlook when I have my own teenagers.

I know I’m not alone. If you’re a similar kind of mom I’d love to know.

Obsessed

It's true. I'm a new auntie obsessed with her new pride and joy niece. Sadly for you folks it's all you get right now.

I went over to my brother's house after work yesterday to visit with them. My mom made her famous "from scratch" lasagna so I didn't want to miss that meal. It had also been a full week since I'd seen Allison so I was dying for some baby love.

Jen, the mom, is doing awesome. She looks a million times better than she did in the hospital. Alan is on easy street. He has a full month off work. My mom is cooking and cleaning. He's only using comp time he's accrued from the police department and even then he'll have more left over when he goes back to work. His job while home is to do "honey do" tasks Jen and my mom listed for him. One of the important things on his list is life insurance. I'm sure you all think I put that one on there, but in fact Jen did. Alan has type 1 diabetes so truly no life insurance company is going to give him life insurance when a medical or physical exam is required. He has some automatic life insurance thru his police department, but he needs much more. There is some round about way in which he might be able to add more $$ on himself so he'll be looking into that in the next month.

I love listening to new baby sounds. My brother was going to change Allison's diaper. Something I had to see with my own two eyes. So I followed him into the nursery with my camera.

Isn't she just the sweetest! I love the vibrating cries she makes. She just didn't like being on the table being messed with by her daddy. Once the task was completed I picked her up and she was fine.

I'm so in love.

April 1st baby pictures

My brother sends me iphone pics daily. Here are a couple from this morning. I'm just totally in love.

Over the hill

On Sunday two of my favorite friends, Dina and Susanne, and I hiked up the hills near our house. They hike all the time. Me, not to so much. Usually they give me 10 minutes advance notice before they're leaving and frankly, I need more mental preparation to exercise than just 10 minutes. I need hours. Days even! For this hike we had to drive to the start off point but it wasn't too far from our house.

The beginning of our hike starts off creeping under a barbed wire fence. Technically we're not supposed to be on the hills. We also saw what looked like monarch butterflies, but they could have been similar looking moths. It was the caterpillars that blew us away. I have pictures and a video down below.

What do 3 ladies talk about while on a 3 hour hike? You know, life insurance (my new hobby), sex, leg hair, pubic hair, vacations. The usual.

One of the views from the hill. I zoomed this one.

Way out there is the bay More bay Part of the city I live in
The thumb of our city Check out all these caterpillars!!!!!

There were hundreds and all on top of each other.

This is a steam train that runs on the weekends.

Dina and Susanne Creepy bones
Me
Dina & Susanne
Susanne and I

Video of them dancing

Day 2 of New baby

Today is the first day my mom has met her new grandbaby. She's here for as long as Jen and Alan need her. Jen won't come home until Monday. Today Jen started on more pain meds and is doing much better. My mom says she looks a lot better and is certaintly feeling better. Here are a couple pics my brother has iphoned me.

This is Dayna. She's Todd's niece and also very close to Alan and Jennifer.


My mom and Allison

I'm an Auntie!

Yesterday morning at 7am my brother and his wife Jennifer went to the hospital so she could be induced. After 24 hours she still couldn't dialate past 5 so they had to give her a c-section.

Meet Allison
Born 3/26/09
6lb 11oz
18.5" long

We be ill'n

Shawna is sick again. She woke up Wednesday with a fever of 102.7 F but no other symptoms until today. Today she's coughing, sneezing, a major snot production company and still has a low fever. I brought her to Kathy's house today (sister in law) so I could come to work. Now that I'm not allowed to work from home (stupid new rule w/my new manager) I need to reserve as many PTO days as possible for my vacation to Cabo and all the company shut downs they have planned. Plus, when you give Shawna cold meds she's pretty much fine. Tomorrow I'm not sure what we'll do. I told Todd it's his turn to stay home. Kathy can't watch Shawna tomorrow. I'm basically trying to utilize my village.

Switching gears. I've taken 2 life insurance classes so far for my new part-time job. They're long (4 hours) with a total of 8 classes. The teacher, the Chad Meister (what he calls himself), is entertaining us (32 students) so it's not too bad. These are California regulated classes that you must take to get certified. Once certified I can schedule the exam in San Francisco. I have to present the certification at the time of the exam. These classes and the test are all free btw. The company I'm working for pays for it all. Sweet!

That's all for today.