Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Former Envy

When I was 6 years old, entering 1st grade, I excitedly stood out in front of my new classroom.  I was going to have Miss. Gomes for 1st grade.  I had previously attended kindergarten at this same school the year prior and lived down the street so this school and I were well acquainted. 

Standing near the door of the classroom was another 6 year old girl who was crying. I asked her what was wrong.  She said she was new to the school, had just moved here from Michigan and she was scared.
I quickly tried to make her feel better.  By the time we entered the classroom she was no longer crying. 

We became best friends that day.  Her name was Nik.  She lived with her mother and father.  Her mother had been married previously so Nik had 2 half siblings who lived with their father back in Michigan.  She was her father's only child so he doted and spoiled her. 

The first several years they lived in a townhouse complex we called "Regency".  Her complex included a pool and a hot tub.  I was so jealous.  I didn't live in Regency. I lived in a modest 1700 sq ft house down the street from Regency and we did not have a pool or a hot tub.  We only had 1 car too, which was an old Buick that overheated.  Nik's parents both worked and had two cars. Her mother drove a Ford Mustang and her father had a Cadillac.  Later her mom purchased white Stingray Corvette similar to this one.  When we went places Nik and I would take turns laying in the back section.  This was at a time long before seat belts were mandated.

My parents still had the same Buick that overheated.  #carenvy

Since Nik was an only child I spent lots of time with her and her parents.  I'd often go out to dinner with them, which I loved. My parents rarely went out to dinner.  We'd have sleepovers at each others house.  We were tight as thieves for a couple years.

Nik vacationed in Hawaii with her parents. 
My parents took my brother and I to my Grandparents house in Folsom, CA.  #vacationenvy

In 3rd grade I remember a handball game where we got into a verbal disagreement.  Words were spoken and we called each other out to fight.  Literally, "I call you out".  She came to my classroom to pick me up so we could go fight, but she came with another girl.  I was very concerned the other girl was going to help Nik beat me up. Make no mistake, I knew I'd get beat up.  I was very chicken and afraid to fight.  Nik was much tougher than I.  So in the end I got scared and told my teacher. Nik ran home and called my house to apologize. We were friends again.

At age 9 we both started swimming on swim teams.  I wanted to be on the same swim team as Nik, but my parents had joined a swim and raquet club that had a swim team, so I had to be on that team. Nik team was much larger and a more prestigious swim team than mine.  After a year I quit.  She went on to swim in college and the Jr Olympics.  #swimenvy

One day we were sitting in our classroom in 6th grade when the office secretary came on via the intercom system to verify if Nik was in fact in the classroom. "Mr. Anderson, is Nik XXX in class today?".  Yes, he replied. We all looked over at Nik.  10 minutes later the same thing.  "Mr. Anderson, are you sure Nik XXX is in class?" In unison the entire class chanted YES.  We all looked over at Nik again.  Awkward. At the end of that day mom was there to meet us, which was unusual. Nik had after school care over the years but my mom wasn't one of them.  In 6th grade I believe Nik just walked home on her own, but on this day my mom was asked to come get her because apparently, someone called one of her parents that morning saying they had kidnapped Nik. They were able to describe her clothing from that day, and said they wanted a ransom.  Thankfully nothing bad happened and it was totally false.

Soon after the false kidnap incident, Nik's parents bought her a dog for protection.  Not just any dog.  They got her a wolf for protection.  Yes, a wolf, as in wild dog.  Her dog, named Lobo, was a wolf breed with some Shepard in him so he'd be trainable.  The problem with a wolf is they don't bark.  They whine with a sort of crying sound.  They also howl.  The non-barking thing  I  guess was overlooked by her parents, however, when Nik answered her front door with a huge wolf beside her, you know that the person on the other side was intimidated. Lobo stood over 6ft tall on his back feet. He was soo cool. 

 I had a 15 lb cockapoo.  #dogenvy

When Nik was younger her dad promised her a Camero when she turned 16.  I remember him telling her this promise. Her dad stayed true to his promise. Not only did she get a Camero, but he gave her a Camera with T-Tops. 
Do you know what I drove when I was 16?  A 1972 Datsun that belonged to my father.  Remember those cars people? No, well alrightythen.  # carenvy

Her parents divorced around high school.  She said they should have divorced sooner, but they held on for her sake. 

Over the years we lost touch, but thanks to the social networking we all know and love, we reconnected many years ago.  I attended her daughters 1st birthday while she was pregnant with her 2nd.  I got to see her parents again after SO many years. 

Sadly, a few months after the party her dad died suddenly of a heart attack.  She was so close to her father. I mean, really really close.   His loss devastated her. 

Like many of us, her adult life isn't what she'd hoped it would be.  Her marriage is rocky.  They separated, he moved out.  They're working it out and may get back together.  Her father is gone.  Her mother lives with her but not out of choice. 

This person who I envied all through childhood no longer has a life I envy. My life isn't all that great mind you.  On any given day my marriage is rocky too. But the big change from childhood to adulthood is she no longer has something I want.  I love and adore her and certainly wish the best for her. I'm just happy to say I no longer Envy Her. 

I think I turned out okay on my own.


anymommy said...

What an insightful, poignant post. The older I get, the more perspective I have on many, many things, but "how good" others have it is a huge one. Anyway, well done, I was riveted!

Anonymous said...

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