Funky Funk

The past several weeks have moved quickly by.  I attempted a few times to post updates but couldn't pull a post together so I moved along.  My emotions are up and down.  Today I'm in a funk.  . 

I believe I mentioned I have to find a new job.  I'm being replaced by technology and have a job till the end of Q2 which is June.  I learned of this in March.  At the time June felt a long time off.  Guess what?  It's June. 

Finding a new job is the FOCUS of my life.  It's really hard to think of much else.  We are a two income family, living in one of the most expensive places in the country, and half that income is leaving.  Can you say panic? 

M-F while at work (since I still have a job but they're making me look elsewhere so why shouldn't I look for a new on their time. heh) I go to Indeed.com and Monsters.com and Craigslist (less than the others) to see if there is anything out there for me.  I went on an interview a couple weeks ago for a temporary position but apparently didn't get the job since they never called me back.  I've also applied for a few others.  Last week I did get a call back for a job in San Francisco that I applied for in April.  I applied probably thinking they'd never call me or something.  San Francisco is hella far from my house for a daily job. I guess the person they chose didn't work out and the recruiter wanted to talk to me.  But at this point in the game  (that would be the losing my job finding a job game) I'm not inclined to jump at a job during a summer I could have off with my children, that would take me an hour by BART to get to.  At some point beggars can't be choosers and I might be driving to Nevada for a job, but right now, knowing I have several months of severance covered I can't justify taking on a commute like that. 

I told the girls yesterday about my situation on the way to school.  They were talking about summer camps and basketball camps etc.  I told them I might be home with them this summer.  At first Paula was very excited. But then I explained I'm losing my job, it's not workers comp (like she thought).  Last night she told me after we talked how she felt scared.  She asked will we be poor and lose our house?  I waited a long time to tell them my upcoming situation because she of all people is the biggest worrier.  I reassured her we'll be fine.  Still, in my stomach I feel a pit of uncertainty.  My brain rationalizes I'll find something even if it doesn't pay as much as I make now. 

I was hopeful a couple weeks ago about a position in the company. I interviewed with the director and felt good upon leaving his office.  He later realized he couldn't add responsibilities on to the job, which would be necessary to increase the pay from an entry level to more experienced level.  So in the end I didn't get it. 

Some days are better than others.  Today is bad day. 

On the positive side, I did get to help pack food boxes today for a food bank.  Also, yesterday I won $100 in a weekly school raffle. 

I'm getting my hair re-colored tonight.  Maybe I'll feel better afterwards.